DEATH, BE NOT PROUD
I was just thinking the other day about how i have stopped
writing. I was looking forward to sharing my thoughts and my days basically. I
never thought my second blog this year would be about something so unfortunate.
So many great things have been happening and my fingers were looking forward to
having a workout on my keyboard but unfortunately, they had to do a workout
that is undesirable but somehow healing.
This week i faced a tragedy that my heart never expected. A
dear friend passed away. I remember when i got the text.... My heart was in
disbelief. I somehow convinced myself that it was all just a dream, a dream i
want to wake up from and never have again.
My heart became numb; i felt deoxygenated and somehow was in another
world, a world that only functioned how i wanted it to. The pain was not so bad
because i was somehow overwhelmed by a cloud of denial. Unfortunately this
bubble of denial ruptured when my eyes beheld the very place where my friend
had his last breath!
The view he had last is a view that paralyzed my mind. Tears
expressed themselves and had no intention of holding themselves back! His image
and his memories re-played themselves in my head and somehow were what was on
my mind all week. Death is something one can never be prepared to face! If i
was a soldier then i would know that this is a war that no one can ever be
prepared to face, no matter how many times you train yourself!
Death you have taken away a friend.
You have stolen a brother to a girl who saw him as more than a brother.
You have snatched a man who was changing the world with his personality and was surely going to impact the world in the greatest of ways if only you had given him a chance.
Death you have stabbed our hearts so deeply that no coagulating agent can stop the bleeding.
Death you have added more wealth to the cemetery because a young man has rested before he could fully explore himself and be the change his heart desired.
The past few days have been just that! Days! They carried no
emotions and I felt like I was going through them but in the form of a zombie!
My heart has been pierced! Pierced so much that all I can do is cry because when
death has taken, it does not return. It is not like repentance, you can’t
stumble and return.
Today I woke up and needed the tightest of hugs, I wanted
God himself to come in the physical and embrace me. I wanted Him to tell me it
was going to be okay and that my friend will be returned! I wanted so much from
Him and questions recited themselves before Him and Him being a great Father, He spoke to my heart..... He told me that all will be
well. That the Holy Spirit within me will comfort and strengthen me. I had so
many questions but then i remembered that His will is just that! His!
After this short conversation with God, I felt strengthened.
The pain did not cease but i know it will get better. I know that my tears will continue flowing but
after sorrow comes Joy. I know he(my friend) does not want us to cry all year
without getting back on our feet again. I know he wants us to find peace again and to
accept that he is no more!
If you are going through what I am going through, don’t turn
to alcohol or anything to try silence the pain but rather turn to God! He will
strengthen you and give you peace that surpasses all understanding. I will
continue to celebrate the life of my friend and be grateful that I still have
life. I will continue to laugh at his jokes that somehow always put a smile on
my face, i will continue to treasure the phone calls we had to a point where i
needed to remind him that i had to study, I will continue to treasure the
greatness and the love you poured out to us all.
A person may leave us in the physical but the great times we
had will forever be embedded onto our hearts.
Remain in God and He will bring about the healing your heart
and mind need.
May your soul rest in Peace dear friend. We will forever
love you and treasure you
